Love Languages

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, it is a great time to understand the importance of love languages. There are five different love languages: physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gift-giving, and quality time. Each person normally encompasses two of the five the most, but the order can fluctuate throughout your life. 

What does each love language mean?

Although some of the five love languages might be obvious as to what they are, some of them might require further explanation. If someone’s love language is physical touch, they likely enjoy hugs, holding hands, and cuddling. Words of affirmation can include compliments, love, and appreciation. Hearing positive words can uplift them. Acts of service can range from small acts to large ones. Helping out with their chores or simply holding open the door can make their day. If your love language is gift-giving, it can go two ways: 1) giving gifts to someone, even if there is no particular reason, and 2) receiving gifts, especially out of the blue. Lastly, someone who enjoys quality time enjoys spending meaningful one-on-one time with another person. 

What happens if someone’s love language is not met? 

Carolyn Steber says, “If two partners aren’t on the same page, however, if they don’t understand each other’s love language, it can lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings.” Knowing someone’s love language and doing things to fulfill it is important in both friendships and relationships. 

iUP Students’ Love Languages

I asked our fellow students what their top two love languages are. Quality time had a surprising win, surpassing the other love languages by over 200 percent! In addition to this, I asked what are some things that make them feel loved and special. Let’s see what a few of them had to say! 

Jordyn Morgan’s top love languages are acts of service and quality time. She says, “I honestly think acts of service are just the sweetest things and definitely take the most thought.”

Eve Bamber’s top love languages are words of affirmation and quality time. She says, “Words of affirmation are very important to me, and when someone tells me how much they appreciate me, I feel so loved! With quality time, I prefer avidly spending one on one time with friends and family.”

Amirah’s top love languages are physical touch and quality time. She says, “My first love language was quality [time] and I think that’s the most accurate thing ever! If my friend or someone I’m close to asks to take a walk in the park, I will be more than happy to! I love learning more about other[s], having fun, sharing stories, and it just makes me really happy to enjoy my day with someone special, and most of the time, it involves no money, just the person!”

Natalie McLaren’s top love languages are acts of service and quality time. She says, “What makes me feel loved is someone spending time with me and loving me! It makes me feel good when I get asked to do something or hang out.”

Kaelin M.’s top love languages are words of affirmation and quality time. “When someone asks if they can spend alone time with me. I don’t do well with lots of people so one on one is great.”

Dawson Baker’s top love languages are physical touch and quality time. He says, “A hug on a bad day can really turn it around.”

E.S.’s top love languages are gift-giving and quality time. They said, “My top love language is quality time and I love to spend time with the people I love because it often leads to learning something new about each other and it strengthens that love.”

Juliana Mun’s top love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. She says, “My love language is words of affirmation because words, in general, are my medium and they are very valuable to me. When someone says something nice about me or compliments me, it makes me feel appreciated, valued, and like they really care. As for my other love language, physical touch, I’ve always associated comfort with hugs and closeness. This is my way of both expressing our close bond.”

Conclusion

By knowing your own love languages, you can tell them to others so that they will be able to properly meet your needs in order to feel special and loved. The same goes for knowing the love languages of other people. Doing something that seems small to you might make someone’s day 100 times better if it applies to their love language. Whether it is yourself, a friend, or a family member, knowing someone’s love language can help to foster better relationships. This Valentine’s Day, try to see what you can do to fulfill another person’s love language to make them feel extra special! 

Works Cited:

Gordon, Sherri, and Sean Blackburn. “Tips for Using Words of Affirmation in the Workplace.” Verywell Mind, Verywell Mind, 20 Dec. 2021, https://www.verywellmind.com/words-of-affirmation-4783539#:~:text=Words%20of%20affirmation%20are%20words,phrases%20used%20to%20uplift%20someone.&text=People%20who%20give%20and%20receive,details%20of%20other%20people’s%20lives.

Steber, Carolyn. “11 Signs Your Love Language Doesn’t Match up with Your Partner’s.” Bustle, Bustle, 29 Sept. 2017, https://www.bustle.com/p/11-signs-your-love-language-doesnt-match-up-with-your-partners-2464697.